This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of life..

This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of life..the beauty of ME and the beauty of YOU..


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of all the formals I've worn in last one year, and of all the fun i've had while working, the beauty of reaching late to the office when the boss is there, and of reaching too early when even the door is closed, the beauty of all those silly mistakes in a simple official letter, of all the new friends I've got, of all those laughs that I gave to the people, and of all those laughs they have given to me..


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of the large pack of Oreos that i ate when I was very happy and dint find kaju katli, the beauty of the first daal baati, the first halwa, the first daal dhokli and the first kheer I made, the beauty of the worst chapati I made, of singing "parde mein rehne do.." loudly whenever i caught someone's mischief, the beauty of learning that new language..


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of all the double cheese margharita double bursts that I've had, of all the walking that I've done after eating that senseless fat but delicious thing, the beauty of all the shopping that i've done, of all the regret of not saving too much after that shopping, the beauty of losing weight and slipping into my old trousers and shouting aloud in the house..


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of all those whom I've tagged in this post, the beauty of all those whom I've not tagged in it, of those who praise me, and of all those who hate me, of all those who are happy with me, and of all those who are angry with me, the beauty of all the photos I click, and all those that get blurred, the beauty of all the places I've been to, of all the people I've met, and of all those I used to meet and haven't, since a long time..


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of forgiving, of forgetting, and of my forgetfulness, of the new red dress, and of the old t shirt that i will never throw no matter how much mumma tries to convince, the beauty of all the Jagjit Singh Ghazal nights I have celebrated in my own house, with only Jagjit Singh and that coffee I made, of all the times I've sung "All by myself" with celine dion, the beauty of all the songs that I've sung over the phone, the beauty of all the times I've talked to no one but myself..


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of paying the light bills and the gas bills, the shopping bills, the beauty of walking from office to home and then guessing why my feet are paining, of all the chocolates I've had, of the happiness that I got after receiving all the online shopping n then getting surprised as I forgot i'd ordered something at all :)


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of sleeping till late in the morning, of waking up in the morning and listening to papa mumma's sweet voices, the beauty of saying good morning to mumma n having bournvita while she's having her tea..the beauty of papa going to office n me n mumma listening to "kajra mohabbat wala" n singing with it, happily ignoring the sound of the washing machine's whistle :)


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of talkin to Mini dee in the night, instead of my friends like before, the beauty of having meals while just talkin to mumma n not while watching tv :)


This Roop Chaturdashi, I'm celebrating the beauty of True Happiness, the beauty of the Naiveness of my loved ones, the beauty of how I'm lucky to understand all this n celebrate the festival in the bestest and the "AWESOMEST" after all these 24 yrs of not noticing what I've got around me..


This Roop chaturdashi, i'm celebrating the beauty of the music that's ringing in my ears..the music of life, the soft whisper of happiness, the beauty of looking at myself in the mirror for a much longer time than I have done since last one year, the beauty of meeting myself once more..


This Roop chaturdashi, i'm celebrating the beauty of writing all this so easily, of saying all what I feel, of being my truest, of expressing myself louder than ever, of winning and of losing THINGS, of finding and of losing PEOPLE, the beauty of my overreactions, and of my UNDERreactions, and of my unreasonable actions, the beauty of all the anger I've shown, and of all the love I've gotten even after That, the beauty of also showing that love in return, but later..


This Roop chaturdashi, i'm celebrating the beauty of BEING MYSELF, and of being close to me, of the Real Roop Chaturdashi..


This Roop chaturdashi, i'm celebrating the beauty of L.I.F.E

Papa..

Papa, I still remember the way you held me..i was so small..u did everything for me, right from getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth, drinking milk, getting ready, preparing my schoolbag, those morning revisions for unit tests, with my eyes closed and you reading for me..everything that i can recall, has you in it. Recognizing your voice since the very beginning, and in the same way recognizing your scooter's horn out of all the things at 6 in the evening, then fighting with you, demanding from you, hiding behind you when mumma used to scold me. I remember how you hid me. I would hold you tightly and you and I would laugh when mumma would come shouting on me. I would look at mumma from beside you and smile.

I might have never told you this before, but I Love You, Papa! I really love you, I do, more than I can love anyone else, more than I can ever express, more than I love myself, I love You, Papa. And you are one of the two persons I will never have to say, please be with me always, please never leave me, or please make a choice between Me and HER [that would be mumma lolz, She's so lucky to have you, but i beat her in that :)].  

I love you cuz You are the one, Papa. I love you cuz you're my inspiration, you're the one who taught me how to love Simply, Purely, Unconditionally and lovably. That is why, and that is how, I Love You, Papa! Happy Fathers' Day, Papa!

Oh! How I Love The Drizzle!

Oh its drizzling! its sprinkling! the sky's happy n its makin me happy too..it feels so beautiful and so cool n so amazing..my first rain ov this home..n the first sprinkle of the season..the sky is bluishly whitishly awesome and the tiny droplets look like they're teasin the pine trees..and chasin' the birds..the wind is comin' and goin'..as if it wants to take the rain away with it..and anyone who watches this must be obviously thinkin' "wind n rain is definitely not a good sign cuz the rain will not stay.." but ah! the wonderful sprinkle..the awesome sprinkle..I juz love it..


I juz love this sprinkle..no matter for how long it stays. For what really matters is that it was here for a while and made someone smile..at 7.30 in the morning..on a sunday, which is a day when i usually dont open my eyes till this time. But its just the fragrance that woke me up, and the sound ov' the tiny droplets that were fallin' on the window shade. I woke up just to see the water droplets fallin down..and it solved the very purpose, makin' someone smile, pretty much like someone you love whom you can't see often, who drops by someday and hugs you, just for a while, says Hye! and leaves. It was just for a moment, just a small Hye! But it solved the very purpose, makin' someone smile, just what i said the drizzle did to me.


Thats why I say, short lived drizzles are perfect, and sometimes, they're even better than longer lasting heavy rains! When it comes it surprises you, and when it leaves, it leaves a smile on your face, that for sure stays for longer than heavy rains..


So next time when you see the sprinkle comin' with the wind, don't be scared for the rain as it goes away, be happy for the smile it leaves behind..right there, on your lips, where it is right  now, a simple smile, thats too much more a sign ov' happiness, than a laughter, so smile :)

"I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)"

When you love someone, you either don't love them at all or  love them unconditionally. There's no third way you can do it. And when the love is there, no matter how hard you try, sometimes, to some special ones, you can never express your love in words. But i guess Sir Edward Estlin Cummings has made it easy for everyone who truly loves someone to express their feelings..through his words in "I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)". I cannot write a word more but just take help of these lines to tell my special ones..so this time its again me thats talkin, but not in my own words, cuz love, nobody else can tie it into words more beautifully than this..

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

:)

Which addiction is better..YOURS or MINE?

Okay first things first..What is addiction after all..all this good bad pretty ugly right wrong..everything altogether doesn't give me the least idea about addiction..it just gives me one idea..n that is CONFUSION..aarrggghhh!!!!! what's this?? Addiction..is it something that i cant stop doing like eating chocolates or smoking? or something that i just cant live without..like breathing or water or food (eh! that means necessity!) And does it even include people?? Ahh!! there you go! Big question!  "People". This small word we know disturbs all the balance in the world. It has even ruined my post. Now it'll change the whole direction of the thing I was gonna write about. But its okay. For sometimes in life "People" are more important than any other thing. And thats why I believe sometimes we get rid of our Addictions for the sake of the "People" we love. See, I somehow got connection between people and addiction(and even kind of created for you an illusion of going back to the real "science-like" topic).


So basically its like people make us their addict. Yes! Its True! They Do! Even WE, as People, Do this. Making other people addicted to us. I have even heard a close friend saying to me: "Mahn! You are Addiction!" And i felt like WOW! Am I! Can I Be? And the feeling was ACTUALLY Good! I felt good being an addiction. So if I were a cigarette or a chocolate, I could have said: "I felt like a person's 3rd cigarette in a row!" or "I felt like the last bite given to a Real Chocolate Addict" :)


So the thing I wanna say is even though people hurt you the most, they make you cry, they make you sad and whatever not, some of them become just too special to care about all this when it comes to loving them. And no matter what the relation is, the question of good bad pretty ugly right wrong never comes into consideration when it comes to these very few people. So basically, the People addiction has 3 differences compared to Chocolate addiction and Cigarette addiction: One, It doesn't give Smoke(or smell, of course); Two, it doesn't com in 75, 85 and 90% darks; Three, It doesn't take the half of your salary.


What? Expected some serious three points or something? or a serious discussion on this topic? Well, I'm Addicted to not being serious. (:wink) See, addiction is everywhere. And its definitely not easy to leave, like people addiction. So next time when you force some close one to quit something quickly, remember its not easy, its difficult, as difficult as it is to leave them. Cuz they're the ones love like your life, like your addiction. Understand, It Takes Time. And this, I wrote for my addictions, whom i'd never want to part with. Hope I'm an addiction to them too :)

I Lost My Pink Pencil

I lost my Pink Pencil..I was so Happy after getting it that in the happiness of getting it i lost it..i put it somewhere so safely that i couldn't find it ever again..i know its still there..somewhere near me..its there but i just cant see it..cuz its kept safely somewhere in my house..i took help but no one could find it..I bought new pink pencils that look exactly like the old one..but they're not the same..

somethings are just so special that you cant replace them..no matter however hard you try..and this feeling carries the kind of emotions that cannot be expressed or shown with any smiley..now the pages of my sketchbook are filling up slowly..cuz the pencil isn't there..and other pencils cant just make me get what i wanna sketch..may be someday when i stop looking for it..IT finds ME..or it suddenly appears in front of me when i remove a piece of paper or a diary or just a dress..n see it lying there..just there..just like there..and feel like "why was it that i couldn't see it when i wanted it?" but then..i'll have it..it''ll be too late..but i'll still get it..it'll remind me of old memories..cuz it is there..i know it is there..somewhere near me..its around..my pink pencil..

When I need to talk, I need to talk..even if there's nobody to listen to it..other than the chirping birds..

Yeah right! Its 0500 in the morning. And this time can be the best time or the worst time for the same person. The only thing that makes a difference is that whether you have gotten up at this time or you are waiting for your eyes to drop down. The latter is a bit difficult, because its just like you're trying to stop your brain from working at the wrong time (cuz it basically doesn't usually work when it needs to) and at the same time also scolding the sleep to not come at the right time. But just like people, sometimes sleep does this, cuz just like people, sleep also has the habit of getting late for office. And sometimes People includes me too. :)


Right now its just like "Wow! Am i Up just to write about something like How to spend a sleepless night or how to not feel bad when the birds have started chirping and you haven't yet fallen asleep" I just wish I could sleep in time and had gotten up right now and was getting ready for a Jog or a Morning Walk. I wonder how different would this Chirping of Birds in the Morning seem to me..Would it even HAVE BEEN different or am I not liking it just because I'm not a Morning Person? And reaching to which of the above two conclusions would make me Happier? Time for me to think. See, I've once more found a thing worthy enough to think about at 0520 in the morning when i haven't been able to sleep (the reason of which was also thinking, for that matter) and a reason good enough to not sleep (Which is Thinking, for that matter).


So i guess my conclusion for this post is that its a vicious circle. Cuz as a matter of fact, if you keep thinking you cant sleep and if you cant sleep you keep thinking, and for that matter, even thinking about not thinking anymore works well. Laugh, if you're reading this at 5 am yourself.
:wink
:tease
:smile

What matters to me..The Day or the Way?

Its 17th..Its April..Its THE Season..the one i used to love when i was in THE place..in THE time..with THE people..now I'm at some oTHEr place..in some oTHEr time..with some oTHEr people..it has all changed and THIS season is not THE season anymore..its just another day..Sunday, the April 17th..and Sunday, the April 17th doesn't matter anymore..miss THE 107th day of THE year..